I thought I was already saved

My name is Eric, and this is my story. I grew up in church and knew most of the Bible stories I was expected to know. I knew that Jesus came to save us, though I was never really concerned about it much. Church was like school to me — something I had to do.

When I was fourteen, at a youth revival, I became aware that I did not have what they were talking about: Jesus. I went forward when the invitation was given, but I just wanted to be baptized. I was not sure what surrendering to Jesus meant. I was baptized — I took a bath — but I never repented and trusted in Jesus. There was no transformation in my life.

As I got older, my behavior got worse. I began drinking and running around, looking out only for myself. That led to my divorce and one of the hardest times of my life. Here is how I know now that I was lost: through that entire time, I never once sought the Lord in prayer for help or comfort.

Then a man I worked with shared the Gospel with me one day at work. I kept telling him, “I am a Christian.” By my behavior, he was not having it. I would say I was a Christian, and he would just keep sharing the good news of Jesus with me. I did not believe half the things he said, especially concerning sin.

Later, my wife and I began to dabble in church, and I heard more of the same. The preacher taught what Jesus said about sin — that if you even look at a woman with lust, you have already committed adultery in your heart. I just did not believe it. Then I decided I was going to read the Bible for myself. I started in Matthew, and in chapter 5, there it was in red letters: exactly what I had been hearing but could not believe. I did not know what to do. I had just found out I was a sinner.

For two weeks I prayed that the Lord would save me. Then one morning I decided I was going to follow Jesus. I was finally willing to repent — to turn away from my sin. Later that day I met a man who asked me if I followed the NFL. I replied, “No, I follow Jesus.” In that moment I knew a miracle had happened. I was saved.

My life has not been the same since. My wants, my desires, and most of all how I feel about others have changed. I went from hating people to loving them. Today I lead a jail ministry and preach the Gospel. No matter how bad you think you are, Jesus has hope for you. I no longer live in fear — I live in victory with Jesus.